A month of vacationing in Manila is almost over. Time really flies so fast, I guess I have done mostly what I want to do. To sum it up, it seems like I've been bumming forever lol, but I didnt feel I miss working, such a lazy ass!
All this time I'm again confused, put myself at the crossroad (or did I actually intend for this to happen). Staying and leaving seem to be a decision I'm bound to make. Boy I've done it before, but things seem more difficult now.
When you know you are upgrading, choices probably could be much easier. Tinkering with the idea of 'downgrading' as they put it, it was like 'why why why'. What makes me so sure about what I want? Or sometimes I'm too chicken to admit what I want and stick to it. Or do I really know what I really want in the first place? I guess the answer is no hehe. I cannot answer a simple question with conviction - 'ano/saan ba talaga gusto mo'. Gosh I'm old for drama.
Sometimes I was thinking life could be all easier if I'm a normal girl. I want a normal life. But all I put myself into is some kinda dead-end situation. How can you want a normal life when you aren't a normal girl to start with lol. - that's what a good friend told me. It seems to make sense :(
It's probably easy to backtrack. But I have a lot of comforts and perks to give up. Sometimes staying put is the easier way. It's quite hard to plan your whole life ahead. Decision at this point matters.
Aww can I just fast-forward? Can I see more signs? Can someone shed some light and give me answers? All that I want is that at the end of the day, I could proudly tell myself 'at least I tried, and yeah I had no regrets'. whew. :)
