What Sh*t is This?

This is probably the first time you would see people blogging about ‘sh*t’ and I mean literally.

I was quite enthusiastic when I learned that it is a medical benefit of my current company to go for an Executive Health Screening package, maximum capped at 500sgd. (15k php). I looked at the packages, the screening center is situated inside a hotel, my first impression is wow. And since fasting is required for blood test, there is a complimentary hotel breakfast afterwards. Perhaps any free food rings a bell. :) What more can I ask?

I took the basic package of 300+, thinking that it may be good to be budget-conservative since it is my first time. To be fair, the basic package doesn’t look like it’s worth 10k php to me! Quickly browsing through, it’s just some basic tests: blood test, chest x-ray and some physical examination. Well I guess in sg, everything is more expensive and thou shall never compare.

After making the appointment, the screening center sent two empty vials to my office for collecting ‘specimens’. The vials here are a bit different, with the stool specimen bottle having even a narrower opening than the urine specimen bottle, I really wonder why. But it does come with a stick in it, you know what I mean… Ok here starts the dreaded part.

I have no idea how some people can manage to fast for 8hours+ and then wake up the next morning and collect stool specimen??? Where did the urge come from?! It has always been a difficult challenge for me to do this. Worst case, I will have to go back on another separate day, uggh.

That morning came, and true, despite shedding efforts, it has been futile. I walked into the screening center, completed all the tests. I told the staff that I am done except for the stool specimen and that I will submit that on another day. She then issued me the breakfast voucher. I came down for my breakfast. It was not buffet breakfast btw, just a simple local breakfast but good (I chose fish beehon). Still, it was fun, I feel like a feeling-executive haha.


Then came the long-awaited urge. I know I just have to swallow some food for it to come. I am on a valid sick leave for rest of the day. To minimize the hassle of taking another leave again to resubmit my specimen bottle, a brilliant plan came into mind. I brought the empty bottle, went back to the screening center and in a ladies room there, thinking how to manage to complete the task. Of course, the rest is history. I don’t want to dwell into gross details. All I can say is that it was yuck, grrh.

The climax: I went to the front desk, ready to submit the pending task. And to my surprise, this is what the receptionist said after like checking my profile for a long 5minutes.

‘I’m sorry ma’am. After double checking, you don’t need to submit anything anymore. The package that you have chosen is the basic one, and it only requires urine sample. You can leave for the day and we will call you after 2 weeks to claim your results’.

I’ve never felt so embarrassing in a long time. I said ‘ok thanks’, threw the specimen bottle in the trash can and rushed out to disappear quickly, all in about 30 seconds.

#$#!!!!#$#$ 'Takte! After everything, you now told me it’s not required, why didn’t you correct me earlier?? I wanna cry haha! And In the first place, why did you send 2 empty bottles to mislead me???? Back in Phil, urine and stool specimen are like too basic tests and are considered part of any screening package isn’t it. It’s your fault!

And after coming back to my senses, I felt that rushing out is actually too stupid. I actually should have asked how much additional do I need to pay and submit those darn stuff! I guess it’s another 20 or 30sgd. But who cares, I should be able to reimburse it! Grrh! I was carried away.

Just for laughs. I’m not going back to you again. Bitter mode! :D