The Eyes of Elvin

Savoring my last few nights in Bishan... I will miss the calm silence and the community. So I guess i'll be blogging. (I only blog when there is something bugging me anyway :p).

No matter what the interior is, the new one just looks like a Home Along Da Riles in a strange community :p. Never thought even a house can freak me out hihi. Something doesnt feel right. Before I was talking about peace of mind figuratively, now it is literally. I know it's not good.. that's why my outreach trip is insightful.

Today's outreach:

I never said I like kids very much. I only entertain kids who are blood-related or who are naturally endearing. But if i do love them, I shower them with everything that I can give. I went to this org from office to teach small kids (from broken family) to read, which had my sisters giggling, they knew me quite well.

The first kid was a girl who is quite lively. I tried reaching out but to no avail, she keeps clinging to their admin and ignoring my presence. Thought it was quite good she allowed me to finish reading the book and even followed me reading phrase by phrase, of which she followed only because she dragged the admin to stay with us. I just kept my cool and smile back. She was asked 3 times what my name is and kept forgetting. Oh well, there is no connection - well it happens quite often anyway. Kung ayaw mo, di wag.

Surprisingly, the org assigned me an extra kid. (not sure whether there was any absentee). This time is a younger boy who seems very shy and uneasy. I tried talking to him but he started covering his eyes. Omg he's about to cry. I slipped a pen and paper to him and tried to calm him down and diverted his attention. I staggered for words..'Hey what is your favorite thing...hmm maybe you can draw me a car...err Ben10?'. Btw the in thing now seems to be Ben10 and Dora haha no idea what they looked like. Then I saw some glow on his face and he smiled. He said, 'I'll draw for you'. Whew good thing my logic is correct, boys like cars and train toys. Then the rest is history. It was fun that he will draw, and I will spell out the word for him to write. Everytime he finishes drawing a piece of paper, he'll ask me to accompany him to the other room to show his work to his mother. When it was bye bye time, he asked me how to spell my name and he remembered and kept calling me by name. He then took out a piece of paper and wrote down his name, 'Elvin'. He said, 'This is my number, 42', and signalled for me to keep it like he wanted me to remember him. I supposed 42 is some class number. We parted then he came back again, to say bye. It's like 3 rounds he will go and come back again to say bye. So sweet. What I saw was a pair of eyes, uneasy and tint of fear... innocent. I am not emotionless, I felt moved.

And yeah, there are people who might not even have a house to go home to. :( Life is indeed unfair. I am pleased with what I gained back. I dont need the whole world to appreciate me, even if there is just one single kid who I made an impact on, I am glad. I go for Quality over Quantity.

People react differently over time, with the experiences accumulated. You dont add a number to your age for nothing.

Home is where the heart is. It's up to you to find what your heart beats for.